Welcome to this impromptu episode of Refined 90's cinema. Are we doing it now? Where
Alex talks about his penis non-stop. Step into my slim gif. Step into my slim gif.
Step into my slim gif. Wait, wait a minute. Watch out for my slim gif.
We're talking about macho man Randy Savage back in like the 90's and the slim
gym commercials and I said step into a slim gym and my partner Stephanie
thought I said Stephanie the slim gym so then I was like get a load of my slim
gym. It's what I call my dick. Exactly what he said. Yep, that was an interesting
intro. What are we watching breaded? Are we just commercialing it? I don't know on
this quick it's that you can turn into a full-length episode without a movie. Yeah,
what he said growing up as we did in the across the Detroit River but not
in Detroit we experienced a lot of commercials for Mr. Allen and white
castle. Mr. Allen's 250. We are now going to watch a condendium of Sam
Bernstein commercials and if you know anything about Sam Bernstein, he is a
is he like a criminal defense lawyer or something like that? Personal injury lawyer
personal injury lawyer see call Sam dot com. The call is free call one hundred calls
is priceless. I'm gonna get to look at you again. It is pretty fun where we
can make faces at each other while we're podcast family of law. Michigan's
first family of law. Bird's injury into his son and his daughter. Wait,
Brandon go back up. There are testimonials. There's testicles go back up.
There's there. Okay. So car accidents motorcycle accidents, pedestrian accidents.
What the fuck is a pedestrian accident? Someone walking to you on the side
of the road and you break a hip? Or like a pedestrian is like birth
injury. They want to chat with us. So so security chat with them. Make
let's make up some shit. All right. We are entering. We're chatting with
Sam Jack's live chat for the operator. Hi, I am Gina. How may I assist you?
Hello, Gina. Tell her that your brother farted on your eyeball. I was
in my car and yeah. That's a good thing. But there is flat related. Apparently
it's not a word. But she'll they did. This is just us into my cornea. And now I
have big guy and I. Yes. Gently. Anything can happen on Refine 90's
quick hits. We actually have a live studio audience for this episode. Do you
buy an explaining a bit more about your situation? Consequently, I have had to
endure many specialized surgeries in order to regain the use of my left eye.
I understand that this may seem unorthodox. When we're done, let's get you just like
coffee faces into a word document. I assure you, I assure you, this has been a
heart wrenching experience for me and my family. I'm pretty sure it's just like a
bot. It's like looking for things. This is hilarious. I am sorry to hear it.
But that situation maybe I want to help you tell me where this took place. Where
this this took place at the family cottage in Barcelona. No, it has to be in the
United States at the family cottage in. Fairbanks Alaska. Yeah, it's an Alaska.
Fairbanks Alaska. At our cottage.
Well, you need to post this. Can you fly fish in Alaska? I have no idea. Fly ice fishing.
A wild fly. And a picture. It's both wild strong, but we should. This has to go in the show
note. Like usually they have a thing where they send it to yourself. But I don't see that here.
Do you mind breathing me on the situation? No. Glad holding for a moment. Thank you for all of
you. Well, this person slash bots name is Gina. And we're very grateful for her.
Oh, my God. The G. I have time for Gina's opinion. Oh, like time for Jake's opinion. No,
your name is printed small on the front. One day when we're old, we can do refined 2000 cinema watch,
but we're going to call it refined. Oh, cinema. Yeah, refined. Ooh, isn't it? Early,
arts refined. Ooh, 10 cinema. Refined tents. Can you? There's going to be a time in our life where
that is considered a long time ago, like the old and days. And it will still be refined at that
point. Thank you for holding the legal assistant best suited to his history is not available to
chat at the moment. But I also have a very legal team of conduct. You're as soon as possible 911.
It's all right. Well, that was a little tiny little splurge. What is it? I don't even know what to
say. Thank you, Gina. We will look forward to your call. What you try a random number. It must
depart. I can't. It's too funny. This is the conversation we have with the San Bernstein team.
All right, they have client testimonials. And I want to get to those. But first,
did you not save the conversation? I left the window open so we can come back to it. I want to see
what Gina has to say. I'm very involved. So good tonight. Unrefined 90s cinema cinema with Brendan
and Alex. There are some we've already watched apparently picking up between one and one hundred
random. There is a playlist with a hundred and nine San Bernstein commercials. No, Brendan,
pick a number from one to 109. 76. Let's watch number 76. That's the one. This is like the best
playlist. Like whoever did this. It's the same account. You passed it. The account is called
the San Bernstein law firm. Probably the San Bernstein law firm. I made it. I know. And we're doing this.
And then we're going to do a woman suffered major injuries. But she called. Look at these big
letters on this. It's actually good commercial. It's good drone footage. The music is epic, dude.
It's like fucking adventure epic. It happened right here. She got fucking trashed by a car. We fought
for her and one. We came to her call Sam. We saved her life drive distraction free in the D
title of San Bernstein sex tape, Brendan. Fox two news, man. I want to find some of the old ones.
You're the very top of the playlist. I bet those are the oldest ones. No, you look. It didn't
look these look all new blast from the past. Here we go. That's what's up. Oh my god. Brendan. It's a
dad. No, it's the better call solve font. Yeah. The call Sam font is the better call solve
font. It's a son. Yeah. Do you think he just sits in his living room and watches tapes of his father
doing commercials? I'll probably. There are more. It's honestly the better call solve font, though. That's
so funny. I wonder if that was the, I wonder if that's the. Maybe Saul Goodman is just a make fun
of Sam Bernstein. I feel like they're very different than we remember. They are. It sounds a little
bit more into it. Yes. It seems like a much better lawyer. Yeah. His dad was definitely just a
fucking joke, but his son's pretty good. He knows what he's doing. I assure you that other lawyer is
not on your side, but we are. But we are my dad says he's never met an insurance company. He likes
and he's the nicest person I know. So you should believe me. All right, let's find some
retro ones from the 90s. 98 did not social security. 1,800 calls him. They do look alike.
You know me. I'm Sam Bernstein. I'd call him do this commercials awful. Alex, do you want to cut
the red tape? I do. And avoid the run around. We're just like, what's the bigger guy that was like
call Sam Bernstein? Were we just like romanticizing the idea of him being ridiculous? I mean, he is a
real lawyer. Like he's not a joke. I know. Were we mixing it up in our brains with like a joke
or maybe a sketch? Were we unduly unjust? I think so. I think Sam Bernstein needs an apology.
And the Bernstein advantage. We'll see how they do with fixing the pink eye as you first,
and then we'll give them the best. Let's see if they have anything to say.
Gina has anything to say. Gina, you are welcome. Yes. For the five 90s. Son of a dot call.
That is so funny. Gina is going to email us at our five 90s. Son of a gmail.com.
That was entertaining. What's another 90s commercial that we really like? The Slim Jim ones.
Well, should check up on the galleries. I don't even remember what they're thinking. Oh,
Hillary fans, baby. Why is this filter like this? That's terrifying. I'm going to have
nightmares. How do you not laugh when she uses a filter like that on their like opening video?
Come on. Here is one of the Hillary family's YouTube videos. Basically, and I'm not laughing
in the fact that she has autism. I think it's very serious thing. I'm not laughing at that.
I'm laughing because she put a filter on where she said, hi, this is my name. And I have autism.
And then it did like a magnified glass on her like face and made her look very silly.
It was just a weird filter. So it made me get go. Do we want to watch eight minutes of funny
ironing fails? Yeah. Why not? Funny ironing fails sound good. How do you iron your shirt?
You've got to make a video. Is this the galleries? 15 views. Yes, it is. Funny ironing filters
of ironing falls sit to music fails. Oh, this is literally just pictures for eight minutes
of them failing at ironing. Yes. Oh, no, it's ironing a cat. It's dangerous. What is this?
It's just pictures of irons. Do they just do random YouTube stuff? They don't like
have any rhyme or reason. I don't. Here's another one. How is my cat mail or a female
hashtag sexing cats? Is that what the it is? What the hashtag says? Oh, my God. That's a diagram.
They're holding the two cat asses. The mail has a larger anus. A larger sphincter, I think. Oh,
okay, Brandon. Oh, oh, penis. What's a penis? Open your re-throws of penis. Open.
Oh, my God. It's like, just leave us on. I want to see. She goes that. And this music is like
Frodo and going to Mordor. That's like Harry Potter. Like, headwigs coming into the gas.
Yeah. Why does he have two anus holes? I do. Why does it save vulva? Why do you have this
anything? We don't know. How many of you? This is how 29,291. What? It's your video. This is on
the Guillerie's YouTube page. Yeah. So this is a video on the Guillerie's YouTube page called
Is my cat a male or a female? And just pictures and diagrams and drawings of cat anuses and genitalia cats in
very weird poses that are unnatural. And it just tells you whether or not what you're looking at
is male or I think my baby boy is a girl. Look at that comment. Go up. Should you really force a
gender on your track? Maybe he just wants to be fabulous. Are you kidding?
This is a quick guess. It's gone. It's so very weird. You know, I know what I will see on here.
I don't know. Like there's like who's this person? Let's go to her channel. We're doing YouTube
surfing boys and girls. Oh my god. We need 10. It's good Lord. What episode did we meet the
Guillerie's in Brendan? I'm in black one because they have the fan fiction. Oh yeah, they have
the Ben and Black fan fiction. This is a good throwback to her loyal fans. That was a good laugh,
honestly. Slapped a rice bag, a venom fan fiction. So it says what we can read this to them, right?
Do you want to rewind it and I'll be Eddie and you can be venom. You want me to be venom and you
be Eddie. No, you could be venom or you can be I don't care. Oh, okay. I'll be venom. You be Eddie
or you be the narrator. One day, Eddie Brock was at the grocery store for some reason. Eddie, Eddie.
That's venom. The fan fiction. Size. Eddie, then Eddie size. That's a stage. What do you want,
venom? Knowing I thought I was Eddie. Oh, yeah. You're ready. What do you want, venom? Do you see
that big bag of rice on the shelf over there? Yeah. So why do you send the sentence? Slap it.
What? Why? What are we watching people? It feels good. And it will make a cool sound.
Oh, no. I'm not doing that. It's literally just the same picture of venom and Eddie over and over again.
This music is unbearable. Eddie, you gotta slap the rice bag, slap the rice bag.
You gotta slap the rice bag. There's music notes. I had to sing it. No, stop singing.
Also, every frame is on like you don't need this long to read it. Slap it and I'll stop
up. Fine. But like some of them go by super quick. And some of them is two words.
No, no, no. No frame is on. Gently slaps the rice bag.
What is a rice bag sound like? That was weak. If I slap it to your heart, it'll break.
And why are all of his things? Let me do it. But venom's are. I have no idea. Why is any of this
even a thing? No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a voice in the background screaming.
Venom comes to the front and slaps the rice bag really hard. It's poor rice. It didn't do anything.
Venom, no, stop. Well, now the music has changed.
Yeah, now it's like the shire. Slaps the bag. So hard that it breaks open and rice fills everywhere.
And there's like a, there's noise. Here's the noise. Slap, slap, slap. Dude, Shang-Chi,
that was who that was. I don't know. Shang-Chi is the new Marvel hero. He just had this
movie come out a couple months ago. Venom slapped the bag so hard. The entire shelf fell down.
Shang-Chi, what the heck? It's not what it says. Venom, look what you've done.
Yeah, but that was Shang-Chi's thing. But I don't know.
Need some emphasis, dude. It was fun. Like, what? The end. That's it.
It's over. That was the whole fanfic. What's happening in the end section? Just the end.
That's enough for me. Yeah. 11 hours of animals and nature close up live cam.
Honestly, this YouTube channel, it's got some spunk man. There's always something new.
The guilleries know what's up. They know how, they know how to have an audience.
Public freakouts unleashed. What if they were subscribed to us? How happy would you be?
I might be pretty happy, honestly. I would be so touched. They might not stay subscribed when they
hear our videos about them. We're just doing like a hot take. Yeah. A venom, rice,
slap, slap, slap, slap, slap the rice. It's like slapping the bass, but it's rice.
Your land is blossoming. Is he really going to go to here now? No, this is what's happening.
Looks a little more professional than the last one that we watched.
You want to end it with venom, slapping a rice bag? We might have to.
First, you should check your email and see if you got an email from Gina.
And that one near chat message, all right, let's let's bring it around. I cannot say for sure
if it will be a turnie. The emergency and mark burns, the best burns, the filler or
an associate. She got very upset and left. I wonder if like they actually read this though,
and they're like, that is not real. You are the stupidest person I've ever read.
Well, this has been another episode of Refined 90s Quercets. See you next time.
See you later, guys. Bye.